Thanks Giving Day - reflections and musings

 Another thanks giving day arrived. It is one of my favorite holidays. I love that the night comes fast and the warmth of the house in the evenings from late November leading up to Christmas is my definition of peace. I just love the glitter and the warmth of this season.

This year, especially had an experience of coming back to life from a bad fall I had earlier in the summer while visiting India. I was bed ridden with multiple injuries and needed help for the trivial things in life we take for granted; that one should be able to do bare minimum to lead a life such as going to bathroom, eating food and taking bath. It was as if I was passing through a dark tunnel hoping for light at the end of it. But even in that circumstances, I was able to look at things with gratitude. There were couple of things that I was grateful for. First and foremost, I did break some bones and my back, but my intellect was intact. I got spared from the worst that could have happened. It also meant staying with my parents for a longer duration. Though I am bed ridden I know my presence will make them happy, especially knowing that I would

Possibly make a complete recovery. 

At the start of the summer, my dear son got into an accident while

playing soccer and broke his leg which needed a immediate surgery. I rushed to be with his side and to support him get through his post surgery days. At the hospital, the next day, I felt a peace filling my mind. I told my son that I am happy to be on his side and that though it is sad that he had a broken tibia which needs a long recovery process, he is alright. He will walk and can even play soccer if he chooses to do so. Complete recovery is possible. I was with full of gratitude during the hospital time. Hospitals are often places filled with people who are hoping against hope knowing recovery is a slim

chance. My heart filled with compassion and empathy. 

As I reflect past few months of my life, I feel that I have been lucky and blessed in many ways. Coming to US was a decision made by my husband long ago. I followed him to build a life for my son. Through the years, I have questioned my decision to move here, trying to find meaning in life in an unknown place and missing home and people back in India. The American dream to life,  liberty and pursuit of happiness was something very alien to me but as I work here among kids and parents who build their life here in this country… I see how much this country can offer. I meet immigrant parents who pin their hopes on their offspring and work hard to give them a better life. I am grateful for all the experiences life has given me here in this country, good or bad. 

We may not celebrate thanks giving the traditional way- with turkey, pumpkin pie  and cranberry sauce with close family gathered around the dinning table. But we have friends who have become family and we do claim a part in the bigger pie - to achieve our own American dream and to make this place our home.  

Driving Waymo - The Driverless car

 When I first came to United States almost Twenty five years ago, one of the first things I was forced  to do was securing a driving license. With a new country and different accent, navigating the system to get the license was not an easy one for me. I signed up for driving lessons which turned out to be a costly affair. After six lessons, I was still not confident enough to drive my own- this coming from a person who had secured a drivers license from India after a series of driving classes.  Somehow the highways and bridges intimidated me. 

My fear for roads date back to when I can remember. I can’t cross the busy roads without panicking. So driving is something not going to come easy for me. Seeing my situation, my husband decided to give me some private lessons in his brand new white car.  We went to a parking lot to practice parallel parking. He asked me to turn left and I turned right by mistake. The connection between the wheel and the steering did not register in my brain, especially when someone is directing me. The stress took over and I became numb and confused which caused the car to bump multiple times on the sides. The sessions ended in a bitter way with an angry husband and equally angry wife who gave up on driving. Seeing my husband and I fight over the driving, my son got super emotional and came to protect me and started crying. A fear creeped through my mind that I won’t be able to pass the driving test that is scheduled for next day. My husband was lamenting on all the money he spent on trying to make me learn driving and said it is all an utter waste. Even I felt all went in vain and that I should not have started out to try my hand at the wheel in a new car.  While he was worrying about the car, I slightly bumped the car on a yellow rod near the driveway causing the yellow paint stick to the new white Mazda. He jumped out of the car immediately and was shocked to see the paint sticking to it and worried that the car’s value decreased by 10% due to this damage I caused. I felt helpless and worried over what may happen after I fail the test. 

Next day, when my instructor  came to pick me up, he gave me a prep talk. “ Asha, I want you to pass your test today, if you don’t pass, it is not the end of the world, you will get plenty of chances. Try to do your best.” From his words I sensed he is not expecting me to pass, my husband has already given upon my driving at that point and didn’t care much and my five year old son was very anxious for me. And there I went and gave my test without much hope but I passed the test on the first attempt. The stars must have aligned well for me that day. Sometimes, when you try your best, you succeed out of pure luck, especially when you are left alone trying hard. “The universe will conspire and provide you what you deserve if you try with all your might “ as the saying goes. And then on, I started driving, conquering my fear for roads slowly, yet whenever possible I try to avoid it. Driving is just something I do out of necessity. 

Fast forward 25 years, today I took my first ride in a driverless taxi with my husband. San Francisco has world’s first driverless cars on the road. We waited for the taxi to arrive, it arrived and pulled over, we got in and it started as any taxi would. I realized in awe the technological advancement made in recent years. The car stopped at the red light, turned right and left, gave appropriate signal… and brought us to our destination with no hassle. It reminded us to take our keys and belongings when we got out. What a wonderful experience.

As the driverless cars replaces our cars in future, there are real concerns about the jobs being lost. As Waymo arrived to pick us, a passerby woman cursed it. The locals are not so happy to see these driverless vehicles cruising among them. Especially in Sanfrancisco where the income inequality is so starkly on display you wonder how bad things could get to some of these people . There are homeless people everywhere on the streets. For them, what difference these technological advancements make in their daily life? They couldn’t care less about these technologies. I can sense the world is changing around us rapidly and we may not be prepared for it. But the awe of a machine replacing a driver and taking us from point A to point B is still rushing in me. I just wished I was born four decades later so I could have spared the ordeal of learning to drive.