Teaching teenagers about substance abuse.

Teaching young adults about substance abuse is a tight rope walk- Give a long list of advice and they are sure to shrug it off. An autobiographical account from someone who experienced it first hand may feel like a looser to them. But if the speaker can make them see the destruction that can come ones way when people get addicted, they may listen and perhaps buy into it. This is what happened when Mr. Chris Harran, the founder of “project purple” talked to my high school students today- students listened attentively to what Chris had to say. The message was powerful and intense. He was able to make them think and look around for examples among themselves and by the end of his session, perhaps make a resolution in their mind to look after each other and talk to people when in trouble.

Here is a man who could have become a star NBA player, lost his career even before he began. Chris was one of the top and upcoming basketball player in in the country during his high school career and was highly sought after by colleges. Aspiring to stay local, he ended up at Boston college where he was expelled as he could not pass the drug test three times in the firs three months of the college. Peer pressure has pushed him to a drug addict by then. However, He was given a second chance at Fresno state college where he played for the college team. At the end of his senior year, He was drafted by NBA and was playing for teams like Denver Nuggets and Celtics. By that time, his addiction was his enemy. He was released by the Celtics due to couple of pending cases on drug usage. Eventually his fate became that of an addict loosing everything and shuttling between rehabilitation and short periods of work.

In his speech, he mentioned how he was dragged into this addiction and his long battles to come out of it. He urged the students to reflect on what it is that they think they don't have it that make them go to these parties on Friday nights and drink. Here is a man, so close to every basketball players dream and lost everything as he could not come out of addiction. Chris also eloquently talked about what starts as a peer pressure can lead to something that take over one's life. He challenged every students to help the friend who is in this situation. Peer pressure can be used positively to support each other- which is what project purple aims to do- To build a support net work for students.

He also talked about life of an addict and the hurt he inflicts to the people who love him. Such emotional stories can convey things we otherwise can not make the students understand. There are students who come from such back grounds and yet strive to be the best they can be every single day. Yet at times they get treated harshly by their schoolmates and get bullied. Stories such as this help other kids who act rudely understand that not everyone has the same background and each one fight their own battles.

Every man has a mission in life to fulfill, for Chris, it is to help and bring changes to students life across the country. Had he become a successful basketball player, he would not be able to have an impact on others as much as he has right now. His program has been helping teenagers around the country to deal with addiction and rehabilitation. I was also impressed by how Chris turned around his fate and made a mission for life. Everyone makes mistakes. When you shield kids from making mistakes, they become less and less resilient. The one thing that goes wrong, they tend to give up. His story was also an illustration that making a mistake is not the end of life, another shot in life is still possible in every stage! You just have to seek it out!

As I was listening to him, I thought a similar session for parents would be a great idea too. When kids come home drunk, parents should be ready to handle it effectively without panicking. According to Chris, instead of asking who you were with or who forced you to drink, why you drank would be a better question. This would put the spot light directly on the person and he probably can identify what it is that he thought he needed to drink that day for. He also urged the students to talk to parents or adults if they are in trouble. That open communication is something that parents can encourage in their children. Children should not be afraid to come and tell the parents that they have made a mistake.

Couple of my students broke in tears as the session progressed. At the end they hugged and supported students who come from challenging families. As I observed their interactions with each other after this session, I thought to myself that most people are inherently good. They learn mechanisms to defense themselves from their environment. When you give them a nurturing environment, a positive person emerge. They have in them the feeling of sympathy for their fellow beings. We only have to show them how to express it. The younger they are when learning it, the better. And together they can support and look after each other.

Here is a link to Chris Harren's TED Talk at U Mass Amherst.

Chris Harren's TED Talk

A taboo- to work while studying

Recently two articles caught my attention in face book; there was a striking similarity between the two.

One story is that of a girl, Rishu Mittal, current Hariyana State boxing champion, who works as a maid to support her education. Her parents are deceased, she is staying with her only brother and to make ends meet this brave girl works as a maid while keeping up with her studies and going to practice every single night. Such an inspiring story of determination and will power! Every Indian student must read the story of Ms. Mittal. What bothered me is that this news had brought attention to the plight of this girl in a bad light. Instead of congratulating this girl and her strength of character to fight against all odds, people who commented made certain things obvious- first, maids are meant to be uneducated people. Second, if someone has to work to study, that is a shame. This closes the possibility for poor girls who may look at Ms. Mittal and take up life just like her. Why is her story a shame to India? If at all, isn't it one of bravery and determination?

Second story came in around the same time. Arun, an Engineering student in Thiruvananthapuram sells peanuts for making extra money to support his family and continuing his education. People are raged that some one has to work to get an education- and selling peanut by an engineering student? Unthinkable for the general public. We have a long history of treating some of the jobs beneath our dignity. When you go to college, certain jobs are not meant for you. Again the comments on this face book post appalled me! Next time if someone has work to support their education,  they are forever shamed from taking up a route of selling peanuts or any other stuff for that matter.

What is wrong in selling peanuts to make money to go to college? Why are people thinking he needs to be saved? From what? Why do we have this entitled mentality that Government has to provide everything- all you have to do is just show up in a classroom ready to learn, after you graduate, it is someone else responsibility to get you a job, if you need money to study- someone else have to provide you. I am sure Arun and Rishu are not alone in this plight. A lot of students work and study at the same time. We must be encouraging students to do that instead of criticizing someone.

I teach in a high school for last ten years or so in United States. It is not unusual for me to walk into a grocery store and see one of my eleventh graders working at cash register, or order pizza and one of my students will show up at the door! Malden, where I work is not an affluent town. More than half of my students work after age sixteen. Some of them work because they want to buy the latest of every thing, but a majority of my students work for saving money for college. And a good number of my students work for supporting the family with an additional income.

My students juggle a demanding course load, play two or three sports in school team and then have a part time job during the weekend. They enter high school in ninth grade, not sure of themselves and directionless. But by the time they start working, I see a more serious, focused students who are responsible and prioritize their time wisely. When they start working, they become better students. Work, doesn't matter what, teaches responsibility and real life skills. Interactions at work will help them have a different perspective on life while also learning skills that are not taught in schools. 

My own son started working in the summer of his senior year in high school. He continued working in college. During the last two years, he has worked many jobs, until this semester he found his niche as a teacher assistant. Even though both his parents work, the college he choose to attend is very expensive and he needs to work to support his education. While he is busy all day long, the work help him grounded. He is serious with how he spends his money and time for he knows how hard it is to earn money. He has learned the value of time. Thousands of miles away, his parents can stay home peacefully knowing that he knows his priorities. Work teach kids things we can't teach them otherwise.

One of my friend's son worked in a Subway, a restaurant chain, during his senior year in high school. While it was not necessary for him to take up that job for monetary reasons, he took it for the experience. He describes learning how to wrap the sandwich- “Sometimes you have to do things your own way. It may seem to be a little unorthodox but it might just pay off. Soon the regular customers were calling me Origami, too. I became “known” for my creative (yet secure) wrapping. Failure’s usually temporary, and only permanent if we let it be. More often than not it leads to creativity because we have to embrace what went wrong and decide how to improve.” A job in Subway can teach life lessons!

A lot of young people in India wait for their education to be over to get started with their life. They aimlessly wander around spending the hard earned money of their parents and get into problems mainly because they have nothing better to do. It is high time we start encouraging people like Arun who sell peanuts to support his education do what he is capable of doing without actually causing him embarrassment and Rishu who washes dishes to support herself continue doing that without feeling any shame. The rest of us who jump into the bandwagon to cry out loud for the state of these kids can probably help schools and other educational institutions to come up with scholarships to support people in need. When students apply for scholarships and earn it with certain conditions- either academic or sports related- it is not an entitlement, it is a merit. Such students will do better in their life.