Making America my home…..

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of United States and to the republic for which stands, one nation, under god, with liberty and justice for all…."

This is a pledge I recite with my students every single day for the last 12 years or so, yet this altogether had a different meaning when I was reciting it with the Judge at the oath ceremony today. Along with 865 other men and women from around the globe, we became United States Citizens. As the Judge noted in the key note speech, along with the privileges we get by naturalization, comes the civic responsibility to vote, to participate in the democratic process, to raise our voice and above all to maintain the republic that we became part of today. It was a very humbling experience for me.

In preparation to be a citizen, I was reading stories of immigrants who came to this country in the first half of the century, who were eager to assimilate and to be part of this melting pot. They wanted their kids learn English as soon as possible so they decided to not teach them their language. They kept themselves from their past and were forward looking. However, recent immigrants have a different take. Their kids are bilingual and they try to keep their culture and tradition while also assimilating to the new way of life and participate in the community. They not only assimilate, they acculturate too.

So, the first generation immigrants like me are torn between two worlds. Pulled in two directions, we struggle to strike a balance. What we left behind is something very valuable and irreplaceable. We have our parents and siblings back there to who we are in constant touch, thanks to the technological advancement of the recent years. But we have also raised a generation who doesn’t connect to our past like we do. For them, this is the only place they know. Their experiences are typical for the children growing up here. But we have tried our best to tie them back to our past by introducing food and language as part of our culture. It is more of our necessity than theirs that they keep that connection.

Each generations have their contribution to the next. Like my maternal grandfather, who went to work in Ceylone in the middle of 19th century and raised the family there. Although he decided to come back to his village and settle down, he made sure his only daughter could go to college. She was the first women from her village to go for higher education. To many who didn’t realize the significance of sending the only daughter to a faraway place to study, he replied that he is providing her with the most important wealth he can possibly give her. He changed the course of the family by providing that opportunity to my mother. My father, who always told us, that life can be anything that you make of and never made my sister and I feel different because we are girls taught us to stand in our own feet. This upbringing has helped my sister and I to be our own advocates. 

Few generations from now, my husband will be that grandfather who steered the course for generations to come in an entirely different direction. It is his determination and drive to make use of the opportunities that are available that has brought us here. I am grateful that I get to play my part in this journey of life. When I look at the big picture, I realize that coming to this unknown country and making it a home is never about one individual. It is about the future more than it is about the present.

Dare to dream!

Just came back from watching latest Manju Warrier movie- "Udaharanam Sujatha". As someone who  lived in Thiruvanandapuram, the beginning of the movie evoked such nostalgic feelings in me, I was almost in tears. The opening song sequence and the scenery were so touching. With a little drag in the first half, movie picked up speed and was highly engaging in the second half. As the movie progressed, actors vanished and only the characters remained on the screen.

“There are people who won’t take you seriously. They might scorn at you and discourage you. Ignore them all. There are only few who can understand your dream and stand by you. Stay close to them and hold them dear to your heart. They will cherish your dream and help you achieve it”  is the sort of advice Sujatha gives her daughter, who up until that time, was a stubborn teenager who went about her life without much care about anything in her world. She was fed, clothed and sheltered.  The fact that her father died four years ago, that her widowed mother is working around the clock to make ends meet didn’t matter to her. She is happy in her world, enjoying the life without any plan for the next day, let alone the future.

What can a parent do to motivate a capable child? How can they bring a direction to their children’s life? How capable is a parent to dream for his or her child? These are all questions Sujatha grapples with herself.  Luckily for her, she had a guide who would help her navigate through this, the person whom she works as a domestic help. She also gets impressed by a young lady who makes a difference in people's life. Fate brings her face to face with this young professional and makes her think of her daughter's future.  The day she took the ride in collector mam’s car, looking out through the window; she saw the city in an entirely new perspective and her dream for her daughter took shape. She was the kind of mother who would go to any length to materialize what she wished for. This movie can inspire the young and old alike.

The kind of social mobility that is possible if people can seize the opportunity that is available to them in our country is often not spoken loud. K.R Narayan and APJ Kalam are only a few such examples of people who had humble beginnings yet didn’t let their environment define their path. Perhaps, before teaching them mathematics and science, schools need to instill in children a sense of confidence and trust that they too can claim their future, that the birth doesn’t define their destiny, that the education system will level the playing field for them. Think about how many Athira Krishnan’s would have lost their battle much before they started if they didn’t have a mother who persevered in helping her daughter dream.

Having someone who believes in the child is perhaps the greatest gift that child can have. As for the lonely mother, being able to look up to someone for guidance is a true blessing. We can see many people willing to help if we seek it. As a community, we have a responsibility to help young parents bring up their children by giving them various training to deal with the pressures of parenting, providing a place where young children can spend time after school productively, and instilling in them a sense of responsibility. The schools can provide platform for people who are accomplished to give back to community by mentoring  such young children. We can put these young children's talent for the betterment of the community. I hope movies like this give out the best ideas to people around, instead of this being a story of one isolated incident where someone become successful and put down a section of our society.